Mourning DeeJay

[uhsir]

I didn't know.  I mean, I knew deejay435 was fighting cancer, but I didn't know she'd lost. 

I didn't know her personally.  I mostly only knew her through Gateworld in the Sam/Jack thread.  If you can consider that as "knowing" someone. 

I was digging back into my flist's LJ postings. It was late into the night Friday. I was trying to see what you all have been up to while I've been pretty much offline these past months.  Sucked up by my own real life.  Oblivious to the real lives of my flist.

That's when I found out.  I can't even remember how I got to it, but there it was. Dream number 60, posted June 21st, 2008 02:01 pm (local), "Deejay went home to be with Jesus this morning at 4:55 a.m."  

I don't know how long I'd been sitting there crying before my son walked by and asked me what was wrong.  I told him.  He understood.  He's 18, a big lug with a soft heart, my baby.  We hugged for a long time. 

I had to move on.  Lots to do this weekend.  Several times though, I broke down into tears.  Nobody was around though, so I was safe.

Something this weekend, and I'll be darned if I can remember if it was someone talking or an email or a snail mail, and I can barely remember it, maybe I dreamed it, but all I know now is that I have to tell you, "you" meaning if you are reading this, I have to tell you that you are a special person in my life.  You touch me.  You effect me.  You change me.  You have meaning. 

Comments

dear friend

[gatebee.livejournal.com]

(((( Uhsir ))))

Re: dear friend

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

Dear sweet gatebee I miss you so much!

Re: dear friend

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

P.S. ((Hugs back))

[pengyn.livejournal.com]

I was in South Africa at the time. I sat in my old room and cried for ages. I was so sad and numb.

She was an amazing woman. And she will be missed.

*hugs*

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

Indeed amazing. She'll live long my memories. *hugs back*

[noobianrose.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry about your friend. *hugs*

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

*HugsU*

[samjackshiplove.livejournal.com]

It's so sad, she was so strong and brave. It was a very special time on the Sam thread and more so, in the Samanda social group. We all kind of came together, some people barely knew Deejay (like me), but we felt connected. Ron (her brother) posted a couple of times to keep us informed, and thank us. He posted a beautiful in memoriam vid, if you want I can look for the link?
And someone arranged for Amanda to call Denise. So very special.

It's strange how someone you only know through places like this, can touch your life.

*hugs*

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

*HugsU* I think I better pass on the video. Not sure I could handle it. Wow, Amanda called her too. Wow.

[jafacakes.livejournal.com]

Like you I only knew Deejay through GW and then LJ,She was amazing and touch my life and I felt her loss as much as if I had known her in RL.
Hugs.

[uhsir.livejournal.com]

*HugsU* That's it exactly. We act as if what we have is not our real lives. This is a part of my real life.

real friends

[gatebee.livejournal.com]

((( Uhsir ))) you are as real as any friends I have ever had and you will always be part of my real life.

Hope you are feeling better.